3rd Rock from the Sun

3rd Rock from the Sun (sometimes referred to as simply 3rd Rock) is an American sitcom that aired from 1996 to 2001 on NBC. The show is about four extraterrestrials who are on an expedition to Earth, which they consider to be a very insignificant planet. The extraterrestrials pose as a human family to observe the behavior of human beings. Wikilink

Stories from Jacksonville

New Jax Witty

Articles, reviews, advice, and legitimate research to go along with some back-handed comments. Think of us as Jacksonville's mother-in-law.
  • Cecil Commerce Center Parkway: CCCP?
    I know folks in Jacksonville like to shorten long names of roads and bridges. For example, the James Turner Butler highway is the JTB to locals. 

    I wonder if locals over on the west side like to call the Cecil Commerce Center Parkway the CCCP. If so, I wonder if those commrades remember why it's probably not an appropriate acronym in America. Or maybe it's OK at this point?

    Anyhow, for those of you who don't remember rotary-dial telephones and magnetic audio cassettes, the CCCP was what the Soviet Union called itself. Or at least what Russia called itself when included in the Soviet Union, which it called the USSR, or CCCP in Russian.
     I'm not sure all of the member states ever bought into either name. Like Poland. I'm sure most people there thought they were still Polish and lived in Poland, even if Russia told them they lived in the USSR and the USA said they lived in the Soviet Union. But I'm not positive because I did not live in post-WWII Poland. CCCP is the Russian acronym for Union of Socialist Soviet Republics. I suppose it could be Communists, Criminals, and Corrupt Politicians. 

    Also, it's kind of ironic that the European Union is basically a Union of Republics that are essentially Socialist. So I guess both Stalin and JFK are rolling over in their graves.

    Back to the Cecil Commerce Center Parkway. It's a stupidly long name, even before shortened to CCCP, which is too long as an acronym. Why not Cecil Parkway? Or just call it First Coast Expressway / FCE (its other name)? If you're going to name a road after someone with an obcenely long name, I understand the dilemma, but the powers that be shortened the main name to Cecil, as in Cecil Airport. Not Strategic Civilian Air Command at Cecil Field. I guess CCCP is better than Commander Henry Barton Cecil Commerce Center Parkway (CHBCCCP).

    To me, it's just the toll road that saves two minutes while heading down Middleburg-way. And I guess toll roads are more of a representation of capitalism than communism, so whether it's CCCP, FCE, or whatever else, it's an American expressway and an excuse to get a license plate "protector."

  • Billboard Wars in Sports
    In my hometown, just before Game 6 of the NBA Finals, a 'Go Suns" billboard appeared. That's like the Buffalo Bills having a "Go Bills" billboard in Jacksonville just before Trevor Lawrence's rookie season AFC Championship game. Or if the Packers got a "Go Pack Go" along the Arlington Expressway just before the Superbowl. 

    Except the Suns billboard isn't just fantasy. A law firm from Phoenix really did buy a "Go Suns" billboard in my hometown of Milwaukee to have it revealed just before Game 6 of the NBA Finals.

    Clever? Yes. Acceptable? Not really. I'm not surprised someone from Phoenix needed to erect a sign to pump life into Chris Paul's flaccid Finals performance. However, the company that sells advertising space in my city should have more class. Then again, it's an advertising firm. And the company that bought the billboard? A law firm. Classy and more classy.

    Gruber Law in Milwaukee has a One Call; That's All catchphrase. The figurehead lawyer is also a Bucks sponsor. No matter how many calls it takes, Gruber or someone else in Milwaukee needs to find a way to pay Phoenix back for the lack of respect. If nothing else, a "Bucks in six" billboard along the I-10.

    I know sometimes Miller sends Milwaukee water to hurricane victims, so maybe send a semi trailer filled with Milwaukee Bucks water bottles and an exterior caption that reads, "Stay Thirsty, Phoenix." For a title and because it's the freakin desert.

    I hope someone with deep pockets in Milwaukee gets on the horn and secures some sweet revenge, but the best revenge would be a Game 6 win and a title for a starved city (with plenty of water). And beer.

    If you want to learn more about Milwaukee and Wisconsin, check out Real Wisconsin News.
  • Duval Schools Referendum: What it Means to Me
    As someone who has not used the local public schools (for my kids) in the past, I didn't have much of an opinion about them. Even when I worked as a teacher in one of the not-so-great schools, the school district didn't matter all that much to me. This is because my kids weren't part of the school district. However, after researching options for local high schools, we decided to transition from a private K-8 school and into a Duval high school, so now funding for the schools DOES matter. Luckily, it mattered enough to other voters in order to pass a referendum in the 2020 election that will allow Jacksonville's schools to (finally) make some upgrades. 

    Unfortunately, many of the upgrades will come in the form of tightened security and completing 
    deferred maintenance. When a school district is underfunded for many years, that's kind of what happens, I guess. The security upgrades are obviously in response to the national rash of school shootings, and I also understand that expenditure, but it's still unfortunate that a percentage of the money allocated will have to be used for this. 

    I also wanted to reiterate my opinion that a well-funded public school system is NOT a problem for private schools, since I'm sure some of those parents voted against the tax increase. If public schools are bad enough (and Duval was close to this tipping point), then families will continue to move to St. Johns or Clay, and your wonderful private school will be located in a less-desirable neighborhood. Your home, too. This is not to say that new or updated facilities will fix all of the problems in Duval schools. As a teacher at two different local middle schools, I can tell you that the behavior of the kids (always dictated by their parents) plays a much bigger role in the success of the schools than new classrooms. 

    I am glad to see that new classrooms are a part of the equation. The school my kids will be attending is building (or has built) 32 classrooms. I hope. It's actually a testament to how poor the communication is in the district that parents of a student who will be attending a school that has $24 million to spend is not aware of how that money has been spent. But no one could tell me when volleyball season starts, either, so it's not a huge surprise. Anyhow, I am hopeful that 30-something classrooms will be added so that my kids won't be relegated to temporary portable trailer rooms. Of course, it's hard to believe we ever let that happen in the first place, but I'm hoping the sales tax money helps fix past wrongs so that I can funally benefit from the property taxes I've been paying since we've moved to Jax.

    [UPDATE]
    As of late June, 2021, no meaningful construction had begun at our kids' new school. That's pretty bad, as it was considered spendable money as soon as the measure passed. And all the schools had plans. I'll assume the construction will be starting any day now, but it's a disappointment that portables are still being used for summer activities rather than being recycled as tiny homes for the homeless.

    Search New Jax Witty #hbz-searchbox { background-color: #F5F5F5; border: 1px solid #EDEDED; padding: 5px; border-radius: 10px; margin: 10px auto; min-width: 238px; max-width: 288px; } #hbz-input { background-color: #FEFEFE; border: medium none; font: 12px/12px "HelveticaNeue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; margin-right: 2%; padding: 4%; box-shadow: 2px 1px 4px #999999 inset; border-radius: 9px; width: 60.33%; } #hbz-input:focus { outline: medium none; box-shadow: 1px 1px 4px #0D76BE inset; } #hbz-submit { background: transparent linear-gradient(to bottom, #34ADEC 0%, #2691DC 100%) repeat; border-radius: 9px; border: medium none; color: #FFF; cursor: pointer; font: 13px/13px "HelveticaNeue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; padding: 4%; width: 28%; } #hbz-submit:hover { background: transparent linear-gradient(to bottom, #2691DC 0%, #34ADEC 100%) repeat; }
    Related Stories
     
     
     
    Thanks for reading. See more of my content:

    Satisfamily - Articles about being happy as a family
    Passive Ninja - Web Design in Jacksonville
    McNewsy - Creative Writing
    Educabana - Educational Resources
    Brave New Church - Church Website Design
    Voucher School - Pros and Cons of School Vouchers
    Luthernet - Web Design for Lutheran Churches
    Sitcom Life Lessons - What we've learned from sitcoms
    Mancrush Fanclub - Why not?
    Epic Folktale - Stories of the unknown
    Wild West Allis - Every story ever told about one place
    Educabana on Teachers Pay Teachers (mostly ELA lessons)
    Real Wisconsin News - Satire from Wisconsin
    Zoo Interchange Milwaukee - Community website
    Chromebook Covers - Reviews and opinions

    Brian Jaeger - Resume (I'm always interested)

    Contact Me